======================================================================
A duet between Joe Elliott and Phil Collen.
(sung to the tune, "When Love And Hate Collide"
======================================================================

Probable writers: Phil Collen and Joe Elliott

WHEN JOE AND PHIL COLLIDE
By Mike Reinemann

      Phil:  You could let me sing the lead,
      Joe :  You could try to grow two feet,
      Phil:  You've got a smelly bottom,
      Joe :  You're in full recede,
      Phil:  I've got a better range,
      Joe :  I'm the one who gets the babes,
      Phil:  Why don't you lose some weight,
      Joe :  Why don't you use the spray.

      Joe :  There's a time when I thought you were a women,
      Phil:  Is that so?  Did you like what I was wearing?
      Joe :  All I know, is your nose is too long.

      CHORUS
      Phil:  NO IT'S NOT!

Lepnetters:  Please geeeeeeet along,
             You have nothing in common,
             Except you're both really blonde,

      Phil:  NO IT'S NOT!

Lepnetters:  Can't stop the jabs tonight,
             When Phil and Joe Collide.

       Joe:  I don't want your beans no more,
      Phil:  You don't need them, you've got your Jack Daniel,
       Joe:  When you sing on a demo, you don't finish your words,
      Phil:  I can sing without cracking up,
       Joe:  Why don't you go eat a cow,
      Phil:  I'm as fit as a fiddle,
       Joe:  Good, then you can go fetch me my luggage,

       Joe:  I've got a longer and bigger genitalia,
      Phil:  That was a sock, tell the truth why don't ya,

       Joe:  NO IT'S NOT!

REPEAT CHORUS
SOLO
REPEAT CHORUS
=======================================================================